Timewasting: MLS Team Of The Week #3 – Sexcapades XI

Every week we think of a subject for a football team to be based around, then fill it with our starting eleven of MLS players with some appropriate name changes, or even better, just as is!

Your scouting job is to come up with the subs bench, from any player from around the world, and leave your player suggestions in the comments section.

This week, the R rated “Sexcapades XI”…

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GK: Nick Rimmingando (Real Salt Lake)

D : Jonathon Leathers (Vancouver Whitecaps)
D : Ty Hardon (Toronto)
D : Bilal Fuckit (ex Vancouver Whitecaps)
D : Rawshins McKenzie (Real Salt Lake)
D: BJ Soares (New England Revolution)

M : Corben Boner (Chicago Fire)
M : Brian Kneelson (New York Red Bulls)
M : Michael Munchoff (Vancouver Whitecaps)

F : Dominatrix Oduro (Chicago Fire)
F : Juan Pablo Anal (Chivas USA)

Will they be sloppy at the back?

Timewasting: MLS Team Of The Week #2 – Dog XI

Every week we think of a subject for a football team to be based around, then fill it with our starting eleven of MLS players with some appropriate name changes, or even better, just as is!

Your scouting job is to come up with the subs bench, from any player from around the world, and leave your player suggestions in the comments section.

This week, it’s the “Dog XI”…

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GK: Joe Canine (Vancouver Whitecaps)

D : Blake Wagner (Real Salt Lake)
D : Aurelien Collie (Kansas City)
D : Michael Boxer (Vancouver Whitecaps)

M : Brandon Barklarge (DC United)
M : Corben Bone (Chicago Fire)
M : Spaniel Paladini (Chicago Fire)
M : Logan Paws (Chicago Fire)
M : Great Dane Richards (New York Red Bulls)

F : Josh Woof (San Jose Earthquakes)
F : Joao Pluto (Toronto)

Lining up in a 3-5-2 formation, this team is sure to be good going for those vital three pointers!

Timewasting: MLS Team Of The Week #1 – Curry House XI

Continuing our off-beat, off-season features, AFTN brings you the first of a new regular series – “MLS Team Of The Week”.

It’s an idea unashamedly nicked from Radio Scotland’s wonderful “Off The Ball” show, which has run this segment for years now, but we’re going to be giving it a North American MLS flavour, so we’re not entirely ripping them off!!

The premise behind this feature is simple. We’ll think of a subject for the team to be based around, then fill it with our starting eleven of MLS players with some appropriate name changes, or even better, just as is!

Your job is to come up with the subs bench from players from anywhere in the world and leave your player suggestions in the comments section. Think of it as scouting for MLS!

This week, “The Curry House XI”…

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GK: Bhuna Coundoul (New York Red Bulls)

D : Alain Rochaat (Vancouver Whitecaps)
D : Naana Attapakora-Gyan (San Jose Earthquakes)
D : Mikael Yourass-ow-ow-ow-sky (Toronto FC)

M : Freddy Aloo (Philadelphia Union)
M : Marco Pappadum (Chicago Fire)
M : Birahim Dopiaza (Sporting Kansas City)
M : Darlington Saagbe (Portland Timbers)

F : Marcos Pulao (New York Red Bulls)
F : Pat Noonaan (Seattle Sounders)
F : Rogan Josh Wolff (DC United)